Things I'm terrible at (but do anyway)

There are a bunch of things that I'm admittedly horrible at doing, yet I enjoy them so I do them anyway. I don't have any desire or wherewith all to improve in these areas; I am completely at peace with my mediocrity. As Mark says in Garden State, "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better."

So, here's the list, fresh out of my noggin. See? It's still steaming.

Singing

I love to sing. I love music, I love lyrics, and I love Karaoke. Yeah, I have no problems getting up in front of a crowd and wowing them with my incompetence, all in the name of a good time. My voice is... not strong, in fact I tend to lose it easily. I also "can't carry a tune in a bucket," as my dad used to say (with love!). Another ingredient in this recipe of suck is the fact that when I have had a few drinks, I suddenly think I'm P!nk or Joan Jett. I commit! I shake a tail feather, and I belt it out, all the while thinking that I sound pretty damn good, and hell, I know the words so why not sing?

Dancing

I love to dance. I can't hear certain songs without grooving a bit, and I love to car-dance (not in a Tawny Kitaen kind of way) and chair dance (not in a stripper kind of way, ok... sometimes). I mean, just because I'm forced to sit down does not mean that I can't bust a move.

Yet again, when alcohol is involved, shit is getting broken. I'm all about the hips/shoulder shimmy, and yeah... I make crazy Bev-faces too. Shocking, I know. I rock the "white man's overbite" from time to time, and at some point in the evening you know I'll be doing the robot. It's my go-to move.

In short, I probably look like a total ass, but I have fun. So suck it. :)

Photoshop

Every once in a while, I like to mess around with Photoshop for kicks. I know how to do a few things, but am kind of a jack of all tools (HEH!), master of none. Case in point - I made this one years ago when Mala and I used to play around on MySpace all the time:


Why? Because I felt like it, that's why, and it made me laugh. In fact, I still laugh whenever I see it! Should I quit My Crap Job and pursue an exciting career in graphic design? Hell no! But I love me some Photoshop.

So there it is: proof that you don't have to excel at something to find it amusing. Proof that sometimes making an ass of yourself can be fun for all involved. Further proof that I have no shame.