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Friday, August 29, 2008

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Dude, I'm out of here! It has been a long & somewhat crapulant week. (Yeah, I made that word up. So?) And it is only Thursday.

Thankfully, I have tomorrow off and will be luxuriating at home with my family, drinking and eating many things. Good things. Fattening things. Alcoholic things.

I will start my diet next week. A coworker and I are doing some crash diet from Shape magazine that promises we'll lose our bloat, along with 5-7 lbs, in a week. We'll see.

And no, I don't know why I decided to put up a picture of The Dude. I just felt like it, and was inspired by the Lebowski bobble head which lives on my desk. And if you don't know who the Dude is, go forth in shame. And add The Big Lebowski to your Netflix queue immediately.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Gotta love those state workers



So, I was poking around the NH Department of Education website last week, looking at certification options just in case I decide to go through with this idea of mine to get certified to teach, and I found an email address of a lady who works in the Department of Credentialing. It said, "Email with your questions about NH certification using Alternative 5." Great! So, I sent her a (I thought) very nice email, asking how I should get started. Should I take the PRAXIS exam first, should I submit my application to the state first, should I take any Masters-level courses...? I'm new at this, and the website was unclear about exactly in what order one should take each step towards certification.

After waiting nearly 3 days for a reply, this is what I just got:

Review Dept. Education website, www.ed.state.nh.us becoming a nh educator, Alt. 5.

Real friggin' helpful, lady! Thanks a million. It's not like I got your freaking EMAIL ADDRESS from that website or anything! Thanks for neglecting to take 2 seconds out of your busy day to actually do your job.

Ugghggh.

On second thought, if that is any indication of the level of professionalism and, heck, human kindness, that I'd need to display if I worked for the Dept. of Ed, maybe I ought to apply there instead of becoming a teacher! I can be a grumpy old shrew all the livelong day!

Naaah. I can actually do that right here at my current job. :)

*sigh*

Change is hard.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

We laughed SO hard

Jim and I make it a point to watch The Soup with the hilarious Joel McHale every week. It is one of the few guaranteed laughs on our DVR queue, and I am always eager to see which stories they will cover from the wacky week of entertainment.

This week was no exception to that rule, but this one clip in particular had us ROLLING! Ladies & gentlemen, I give you Spaghetti Cat:


Awesome! It reminds me of my TV days when we would get very silly in the control room and make up funny graphics & pictures, etc. We used to do this thing where I'd merge the two anchor people's faces into one. Dan & Alica became "Dalicia." She was one freaky-looking tranny. :) The anchors thought it was funny... at first.

*sigh*

Good times.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Someone needs a hobby

Wow. This is a new low.

As many of you know, I work with a crazy person who sits about 4 feet from me and talks my ear off three days out of my five day workweek. Her usual self-indulgent ramblings are about her cats ("they're just like a couple of kids!"), the one grown child she has who actually speaks to her (d'oh!), whatever home improvement project she has ordered her estranged husband to do that week, her health (diabetes, back trouble, eye problems...), what she had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the last few days (!), every stop she made on the way home from work and every task she did at home from morning till night, and every conversation or bit of praise she has ever had or received while working for the past 40 years.

Now, repeat these stories constantly over the course of almost 5 years on the job, and you get an idea of what kind of hell I find myself in for the majority of my work week. She seems to forget that she has told me these stories a thousand times, so not only was it boring and inane the first time I heard it, but after the third or fourth time, I'm about ready to jam pencils into my eardrums. Or hers.

Today, we've reached an all new low. She is actually sitting here reading me a lunch menu from some restuarant I've never been to and have no intention of ever going to.

Kill me.

Please.

Tall Ships, and one big Tuna


Jim and the boys in front of the U.S.S. Albacore

On Saturday we had the chance to go tour one of the Tall Ships over in Portsmouth, and while we were there we found a retired research submarine that is an historic landmark. We had no idea the sub was even there (we're still learning so much about New England!), and BS loves submarines thanks to the Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" album. :)



So, it was a big hit on all counts. The Tall Ship was neat because we've never actually been able to go on board and below decks, we've just seen them from a distance in the harbor.


The sub was neat because I had no idea how TINY they are inside; the sleeping berths were freaky! Those sailors were stacked in there like sardines - four bunks high (the bottom one being on the floor, the top one being less than a foot from the ceiling), and 12 bunks in probably a 12' x 12' space. DH and I both had the "Oh shit" moment when we first stepped into the tiny entryway with hot, stagnant air.... We are both far too claustrophobic to ever consider life at sea, apparently.


BS, however, seemed perfectly suited to it. Like a fish to water, as they say.

What a nice change of pace: touring something where they let the kids touch everything in sight!

We all really enjoyed the day, and we managed to just barely avoid the roaming thunderstorms which have become a daily occurance around the state this summer.




Ahoy! Until next time, mateys. :)

Friday, August 15, 2008

Boooooo, me.



I'm familiar with the expression, "what you eat in private shows up in public," and I'm definitely living proof.... But that didn't stop me from stealthily scarfing down two cupcakes in the kitchen while I waited for my Lean Cuisine to finish nuking just now. In my defense, it's Friday, and they were free. Free cupcakes! How could I possibly resist their sugary lure?

Compulsive, much? Color me embarrassed. Just when I think I've got my act together and I see the scale go down a pound, I do something like that just to make sure I maintain the status quo. It's like I have a mental block when I hit this particular weight area; every time I do, my body says, "Oooooh yeah, I like it here!" Totally bogus.

So, now I've outed myself as a closet cupcake-scarfer. Booooooo, Bev, boooo.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Is it really possible to know thyself?

And no, I don't mean in the Biblical sense, so get your mind out of the gutter.

I am just sitting here, thinking about Jessica Simpson and another woman I know in real life who are, let's just say, a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. No, it's not typical for me to sit and ponder Jessica Simpson, so I thought this might be blog-worthy.

It's a well-known (and documented!) fact that Jessica is not exactly the brightest star in the galaxy. She has said and done some wildly stupid things, and those are just the ones we hear about out here in nobody-land. Yet, she seems to think that she's actually smart, but just playing dumb. This is a head-scratcher for me. Is it possible that she's right, and we're all being duped into believing she's dense when in fact she's quite bright?

In the case of the woman I know, it is not possible that she is secretly smart at all. I've met her, I've gazed into those vacant and far-away eyes, and I know that she is definitely not smart. Nice, sure. Smart? No way, no how. However, she, too, thinks she is at least of average intelligence. She thinks she's on the ball, in fact.

So, this leads me to wonder, what if we're all dumber than we think we are? What if we all fancy ourselves to be of average or above average intelligence, when those around us think we're dumber than posts?

Scary, huh?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pull up a mousepad and get comfy

So, welcome to my brand spankin' new blog. I resisted the urge to start one for a long time, but today I decided that I might actually have a few things to say after all. Of course, I may be entirely wrong and you might all find that I'm incredibly boring, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

About me: I'm 33, married, with two small children. I work in an office of financial type folks, most of whom are tolerable, some of whom are not. I come from a small town in northern Vermont, and now live in a small town in southern New Hampshire. I don't care for cities, crowds, or traffic. I love the outdoors, but only if the insects are minimal and there's shade to be had... I'm a little high-maintenance when it comes to the great outdoors!

I'm a certified pop culture junky and am never at a loss for a good movie quote. It's a source of a kind of bizarre pride for me; it likely sprouts from the fact that in that small town I just mentioned, we got one television signal on the rabbit ears, but my dad was a forward-thinking dude and bought us two of the very first VCRs ever made. We taped every movie we rented for years and years and years (shhh, don't tell the Feds!). Our collection was massive - three movies to a tape, and I estimate about 90-100 tapes by the time the mid-90's and DVD players rolled around. We became well-versed on the classic 80's screwball comedies: Caddyshack, Vacation, Stripes, Airplane, Revenge of the Nerds, 16 Candles, and so forth. My dad, sister, and I would quote movies at any and every opportunity, and it was a habit that stuck. To this day, we aren't together long before a good quote comes out... perfectly timed, perfectly appropriate to the situation. It's a gift, really. :)

Dad also bought one of the first consumer video cameras on the market, which instilled in me a love for video production that lasts to this day. I had a brief run in local television production, which lead to streaming media/live webcast production in early the 2000's (well before any schlub with a webcam and an internet connection could put on a show for YouTube). Don't ask me how I ended up taking coffee orders and hearing about every missed page and hiccup the photocopy machine makes. I still haven't figured that out myself, and I doubt I ever will!

Anywho... that about brings you up to speed. I value humor and honesty above all things, so if you're funny and honest and honestly funny, this blog is for you!

kiss kiss,
Bev

Monday, August 11, 2008

For my daily laughs, I go here:

Dlisted

Holy Taco

List of the Day

Urlesque

What Would Tyler Durden Do


For a complete lists of the blogs I dig, check out the sidebar on the right!

All About Bev

Hi, my name is Bev, and I hate pants.

Sure, there's a lot more to me than that, but that's as good a starting point as any. I like quoting movies and TV shows, poking fun at celebrities, talking about my flair work, and most of all, I love to laugh. I also like to make others laugh, which is where you and Out of Bev's Head (OOBH) come in.

I have a crappy office job filled with annoying coworkers, but I put up with it because it allows me to do a lot of what I really love to do: write. I do a good deal of freelance writing work these days and I'm really thrilled to be embarking on a new, satisfying career. Now that I've started doing it, I realize that it is what I have always been meant to do! You can read all about my burgeoning writing career on my website.

I'm married to Jim, who teaches high school. We've been together for 14 years, which kind of blows my mind considering we're still so young and hip, damn it. He's a good egg: a sweet Deadhead who's a great dad to our two sons and treats his woman well. He's nice to me, too. ;)

And yeah, it's okay to joke about his bowl cut.

These aren't the droids you're looking for.





My boys are my favorite part of life so far, even though they are little stinkers most of the time. I'm convinced that the act of raising children is the sole reason that wine was invented.


Speaking of booze, I may be in my thirties but I have not lost my desire or ability to have a good time now and again. My good times are fewer, further between, and better-planned now that I am a grown-up wife and mother, but I still get my freak on whenever possible. In fact, I am a firm believer in shaking your money maker, dropping it like it's hot, and generally gettin' jiggy wid' it. I think it's important.

I talk about my BFFs quite a bit. Mala and I have been friends since those TV production days I mentioned earlier. Thirteen years of friendship through good times and bad... and we've never once had a fight. We do love to whoop it up .

I met Laurie years ago at a book club meeting and somehow we stayed in vague contact until fate (and Facebook!) brought us together. Laurie is feisty and fun and we share a fondness for all things glossy and girly. She's a tough chick and someone I always want to have on my side.

It's not always beer & Skittles here on the OOBH but I do try to keep it upbeat for the most part. I love to make fun of celebrities and talk about music and pop culture. Oh, and I have a dirty mind, I'm not gonna lie to ya. I like talking about boobs (my own, in particular), sex, and TMI.

I'm glad you stopped in today. If you love to laugh, don't forget to read the comment sections for each post! If I haven't stopped by your blog yet drop me an email (bevtastic7 at gmail) so I can check it out!

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy what comes out of my head.

Bev