Pretty fly... for a white chick

AKA: Tipsy blogging.

Yes, it's Saturday night, and I am where I almost always choose to be: curled up on the couch with my laptop and my (2nd) glass of Cab. The hubster is up caging the children for the night, I've got some silly pop culture VH1 show on the TV, and I am officially me-llelow like Jell-o. Today was a nice quiet day at home. We had big plans (weather permitting) to go to a water park today, but the little one woke up at 2 AM last night burning up with fever. I found myself on the couch at 2:15 with both kids drinking from their little Capri-Sun flavored water pouches, accepting the proffered Motrin droppers with such little fuss that it was clear they weren't feeling well.

So, we stayed home today. I love staying home; I am a home body by nature, after all. However by around 3 PM I start to get a little stir-crazy. I wish my attention span would make a come-back. I used to sit and read for hours and wish I had more time to do it, but lately I just can't seem to find a book that holds my attention. I have about 4 of them bookmarked, and I'll sit and read a chapter here and a chapter there, but never feel that pull to sit and finish it. The same goes for my writing; I feel no inspiration whatsoever. Hopefully my broke-down crack whore muse will return at some point so I can get the creative juices flowing again. Until then, I will just bore you all with my little bloggy thoughts. Like these:


Why does self-tanner have to smell like crap?
Let it be known that I am generally at peace with my paleness. I am simply not someone who gets bronzed in the summer, and I am beyond trying to fake it. I love to go sit in the sun to soak it in to raise my spirits, but always with sunblock and I can really only stand it for about 30 minutes before I start feeling hot and sweaty and need to seek shade. I don't turn "tan," I turn red and freckle-y, so what's the point?

BUT, I do like to wear skirts and shorts and I like bare legs, so that means I feel the need to keep the glare down to a minimum. We don't need people driving off the road because they are blinded by the brilliant flash of white that occurs when sunlight meets my bare legs, after all!


Every summer I try the various lotions that claim to have "subtle self-tanners" in them, and every year I find one that is... okay. Not fantastic, just okay. What irks me is the smell. Why is it that they can't seem to formulate a subtle self-tanner that doesn't smell like... I dunno, there's no comparison. It's such a distinct scent. Stale skin? A "used diaper filled with Indian food?"

Yeah, that's about right.

It's not a scent that I enjoy, that's for sure. Why must I be forced to make this choice? I can be ridiculously pasty OR smell like unfiltered desperation? *sigh* It is tough being a girl.

I yearn for the days when being pale was in.


That's all I got. Happy Saturday night, everyone!
oxoxoxo