My stream of consciousness is polluted!

'Sup, peeps? TGIF! I hope you're all coasting through your Friday and have excellent long weekends planned. I don't have a lot on the agenda this weekend; we're due to get the remnants of Hurricane Earl tonight into tomorrow, so my plans involve not losing power and not having a tree fall into my house. Always good plans, I'd say!

This has been a rather busy week. Even though there have been tons of Stew-worthy things I haven't had much time to hunt and gather, so today I'm just going to give you a little stream of consciousness blabbing.  It's not really OOBH Stew, it's more like OOBH hors d'oeuvres. ;)


Of all the embarrassing ways to die....

Say you're a successful doctor in California who has an on-again, off-again relationship with a guy.  You're currently off-again, but you want to talk.  You go over to his house but he refuses to let you in.  You try to break in but can't, so what do you do?

If you're Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, you set down your purse and cell phone in the backyard, climb a ladder to the roof and try to slide down the chimney like a sort of Fatal Attraction-style Santa Claus.  Yes, seriously.

A day or so later the boyfriend leaves for Europe. Another day goes by and the housesitter notices a smell and... fluids... dripping from the chimney.  After calling the authorities they find the good doctor wedged in the chimney just two feet from the fireplace, dead as a doornail.

YUCK.


What in the world?  Sure, we've all done some crazy things for love, I'm sure, but that takes the cake.  Think about that the next time you're seeking advice from your doctor, won't you?  I know I will.

Not to be outdone by Lindsay, Paris Hilton might be heading back to the slammer.

Not a moment too soon, right?   The story goes like so: Paris and her boyfriend were fish-bowling a  Tony Soprono mobile (Cadillac Escalade) on the Las Vegas strip when a cop pulled alongside them at a red light.  The cop smelled the sweet scent of marijuana and pulled them over, where her boyfriend promptly failed a sobriety test.

Being a celebrity, Paris asked to hide from the Paps in the Wynn Hotel (which has since banned her ass from entering their establishment, btw).  She then asked the cop to hand her her purse so that she could put on some lip balm, and when she opened the purse a bag of coke fell out at his feet.

"It's not miiiiine, baby!"

What a fucking idiot!  Oh, and let's not forget that this is the THIRD TIME she has been arrested for drugs this summer.  Lock her up & throw away the key!  She gets an "Eff YOU, Skank" award from La Bev, you'd better believe it.


I've never liked Paris or thought she was pretty.  In fact, I've always thought she looks like an insect of sorts, like a Praying Mantis or something.  I checked Google for a Paris Mantis shot but found nothing, but I did find this cool, creepy picture of a real Praying Mantis at night:

That's hot.

Which of course, made me think of those Isabella Rossalini green pornos:



So there's that.


9021-oh shit!  I missed it!

Yesterday was 9-02-10 and I just didn't have time to blog about it.  Sads, I know.  :(  I was never a huge fan of the show, I'll be honest, but I did watch it now and then and liked it a lot during my early teen years.

To me the funniest part of the show, other than the glaring lack of parental supervision and the fact that a dimwit who looked like Donna Martin was popular, was their hair.  Everything from big bangs (Andrea), flat tops (David), giant sideburns (Brendan, Dylan) to greasy curly mullets (Steve) were represented!  It was a hodgepodge of bad 'dos, and it was fabulous.

So there you have it.  Straight out of my head into yours, as advertised.  I hope you all have a fun and safe Labor Day weekend!

*mwah*