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Monday, November 23, 2009

Ding dong, you messed with the wrong chick!

Happy Monday, folks! Did you all have a nice weekend? I did! On Saturday I gathered my fellow immature Twilight-loving friends and we saw New Moon. It was great! Of course, before the movie we had dinner and many, many Cosmos, so I'm pretty sure any movie we saw would have been great in that frame of mind, but whatever. I loved it and can't wait to see it again when I can remember it all.

I'll throw up a couple of photos, but that's really not what this post is about, so I'll make it quick:



Oh, and we had so much fun cruising in Laurie's Mini Cooper with the top down (in November - love this warm weather!) that we all felt like teenagers again. Good times....


Okay, moving on. I have to share an inspirational work story on this Monday morning when many of us are working and perhaps subsequently hatin' life. I think it's safe to say that we've all worked with a certifiable bitch before, right? I mean, there are so many bitchy & mean people in the world, you're just bound to run into one at some point in your career. In my case, I work with lots of 'em - both male and female - but you all know that Nasty Bitch Nancy gets under my skin more than most. She's the coffee Nazi who acts like I cut off a body part if I allow the creamer to run low? The one who leaves me passive-aggressive notes about mysterious rodent-related odors? Yeah, her.

Anyway, this post isn't about her, it's about someone my good friend Dorothy* encountered recently.

Dorothy works for a medium-sized company and is pretty high up the chain of command, just under the VP-level. She works hard and keeps her head down, doesn't cause trouble, and is well-liked by everyone and well-respected by her superiors. Recently Dorothy had a run-in with Evilene, a woman who worked in a lateral position and who had a reputation of being difficult and vulgar at work. Evilene had worked there for 12+ years and therefore felt entitled to curse openly and berate people on a daily basis. Several VP's had been told not to deal with Evilene anymore, but to go through Dorothy instead. People feared Evilene's wrath and avoided her, yet her job was safe for some odd reason. It was as if no one could touch her, and with every day her unchecked vindictiveness grew until the very air around her seemed to glow with aggression and rage.

One day last week, Evilene made a mistake at work that directly affected Dorothy. Dorothy, ever the dutiful worker, approached her on a quiet day in the office when many people were out at a meeting. When our friend Dot showed Evilene the email from last August that backed her up and incriminated Evilene, Evilene told her she didn't care about "her fucking email" and then called her a "fucking backstabber." Dorothy, ever the composed and intelligent worker, quietly retreated to the bathroom to wash her face and try to get her blood pressure back down to a normal level.

Later, she sent an email to Evilene's boss and HR, telling them what had happened. When they asked Evilene about it, Evilene denied it ever happened and since the office was nearly-empty and those people who were close to the scene work directly for Evilene, no one came forward to back up poor Dorothy. Several people, however, admitted that Evilene had it out for Dorothy and had been heard loudly calling her vulgar obscenities that very day.

Alas, with no proof and no witnesses, it seemed that Dorothy would just become yet another casualty of Evilene's cruelty.

BUT WAIT, there's more!

The following Monday morning, a day just like this one, Dorothy went to work to find that HR and the boss had decided that Evilene had gone too far at last. Apparently, Dorothy's stellar record of not being a horrible gossiping lying hag was all the proof that they needed; it was the last straw for that camel's back. The company decided that Dorothy was too important to be treated in such a manner, so they did the unthinkable - they fired Evilene! She was gone, gone, gone by the time Dorothy took off her coat on Monday morning! Sometimes nice guys DO finish first!

Throughout the day that day, Dorothy saw several people who had worked under Evilene who looked like they'd been crying. She felt badly that she had essentially caused the termination of someone so beloved; Dorothy is not one to cause turmoil, after all. Yet later that day one of them approached her with something like reverence in her eyes, and Dorothy asked her if she was okay.

Turns out, the munchkins were not weeping tears of sorrow; they were rejoicing because Dorothy had killed The Wicked Witch!



Ding dong, the witch is dead! They immediately started planning a parade in her honor and have assured Dorothy that the ruby slippers are forthcoming. She is a working class hero, and all is well in the Land of Oz once more.



A day later, the brakes on Dorothy's car suddenly went out, but we're sure that was just a coincidence.

So, you see? Good things can happen at work. Sometimes karma gets it right.


* Names changed to protect the livelihood of the innocent.

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