New Hairstyles News: Speaking of Playboy

I have a confession to make, but those of you who know me won't be shocked by it at all. You see, despite the fact that I routinely ridicule friends like Mala for watching all of those horrid VH-1 and MTV reality shows (Tool Academy & Rock of Love Bus? Really?) I have been watching E!'s The Girls Next Door since episode one. It started off innocently enough - I was home sick one weekday and bored out of my skull, so I started perusing Comcast's On Demand options and came across the whole first season. I turned it on because hey, I like attractive naked people as much as the next girl, and I was oddly fascinated with three women who were (allegedly) porking senior citizen Hugh Hefner.

I was hooked. After all, watching this frothy concoction of T+A is the ultimate escapism. Their lifestyle could not be further from my own reality on the spectrum of normalcy. For one thing, they share a man. I would be jealous if the man I loved had two other beautiful girlfriends, and the idea that we'd hang out like sisters in a sorority house simply boggles my mind. For another thing, their whole lives are spent lounging around wearing skimpy pink outfits, dressing up their little dogs, and attending swanky parties where everyone tells them how gorgeous they are and take their photos for the media.

Yeah, that doesn't happen to me. I don't even have a dog anymore, and when I did I certainly never dressed him up in costumes. Much.

For the record, my favorite Girl was always Bridget, who was the oldest of the bunch and seemed to be the smartest. Also, her looks just seem much more natural than the other two; she's a natural (albeit enhanced) blonde, has a very curvy figure (oh how I envy her teeny tiny waist), and I am not 100% sure, but I think her breasts are even real. Maybe. At any rate, they're spectacular.

Mostly I like her best because she is educated and reasonably intelligent, seemed to be there for the "right" reasons (i.e. she never had designs of making notorious bachelor HH settle down with her, seemed up-front about the fact that it was just too good a gig to pass up, etc.), and she was the peace-maker among the group. Bridget was the glue that held idiot Kendra and power-hungry Holly together.

Now the girls have all gone their separate ways and there's a new batch of bimbos inhabiting Hugh's love shack. I watched the first episode of the new season the other day while living my own glamorous life -- folding laundry in sweatpants while my kids begged for Fudgsicles -- and wasn't all that impressed with the new crop. For one thing, two of them are twins who apparently share a brain, and not a highly-functioning one at that. They do everything together, dress identically, and finish each other's sentences. I have absolutely no hope or desire to learn which one is Kristina and which one is Karissa.

The "new Holly" seems like a nice enough girl, but frankly... she bores me. Also, she looks exactly like the twins, so sometimes I can't tell who is who is who anymore. Would it kill Hugh to have a hot brunette girlfriend? Sheesh!

So, we'll see how the season goes. If I watch it, I'm not sure yet. I've never gone out of my way to watch it, I don't Tivo it or anything like that, but it's hard to miss it when you're flipping channels on the weekends. I used to feel like watching it was like popping a couple of Xanex and taking a little mental vacation, but the first episode just kind of irked me for some reason. We'll see.

Personally, I would like it better if Hugh had chosen a more substantive girlfriend. Maybe someone like November playmate Marge Simpson, for example?