The burning means it's working!

Recently I started a new skin care regimen, and judging by the rash that's appeared on my neck, I don't think it's gonna work out. A few weeks ago I was chatting with a new acquaintance at a kid's birthday party and he (yes, he -- don't judge!) started telling me about this product he is using that is helping to fade his crow's feet and fine lines. Of course you all know that I plan to fight aging tooth & nail, so I perked up and took notes. I was sitting right next to him, and his skin DID look fantastic!

Laurie ran right out and bought it and reported that her skin felt soft and lovely. She was kind enough to give me the little travel sized samples that came with her kit, so I gave it a try. Incidentally, even my husband thought I was crazy when he saw the product in the bathroom. His exact words were, "Why are you using an acne product? You don't have acne!" When I told him about my fine lines he actually snorted.

I'm really glad I didn't purchase the whole kit without trying it because it immediately started causing problems. It burned! It left me with red splotches on each cheek! My face felt dry even after applying the lotion! And now, weeks after I started using it, I'm breaking out in a rash and I'm itching in weird places like my hairline, neck, and ears.

Fuck this noise! Now I think I need to go get a professional facial. This itching is ridonk!

I've been faithfully rubbing the lotion on its skin since I was 18 years old. In fact, I remember the day I started because it was one of those blustery, sub-zero winter days in Burlington, VT, and my face felt tight and dry as I slid into my seat in French class one day. I had become friendly with a girl who sat next to me, and as I dug through my bag for my lip balm I remember kvetching about how dry my skin felt. This girl was tiny and had some sort of indistinguishable foreign accent, and she proceeded to school me on how I needed to moisturize. I remember her little fingers grazing her own flawless cheeks, her eyes wide and intense, as she told me how moisturizer is basically the fountain of youth and an essential ingredient to being a hot babe.

Clearly, she was very convincing. Strangely enough, I never saw her again after that one class, and I don't even remember her name, but I think about her almost every time I buy moisturizer. Life is so odd. It's quite possible that she was an angel, but I can't back that up.

So, I'm back in the market for a fantastic line-reducing skincare line. Suggestions welcome. Guys, no facial jokes or I shall find you and pummel you with a rubber chicken.

Let's see, what else is new? I stumbled across something very dirty last night involving our friend Colin Farrell. VERY DIRTY. So that was a fun way to spend 13 minutes. (Do I need to tell you that it's NSFW? Because it SO is. In fact I'd say it's NSFA - not safe for anywhere. Yes, that means it's pron. Proceed with caution!)

Tell 'em Bev sent you. Enjoy, my delightful little pervs, and don't say I never gave you anything!

XOXO