5 ways in which I FAIL

No, that's not me, but sometimes it feels that way.

Here's a list of things I suck at:

1. Exercising regularly. I go in spurts; I'll get all gung-ho about going to the gym for a month or two, and then one day I'll just not feel like going so I won't. Then I don't go back for 2 months, for no good reason. I don't cancel my membership, because somehow paying for it each month is like my penance for being a lazy fuck. It's like my own personal self-imposed sin tax.

2. Keeping my car clean. Before I had kids, the inside of my car was always immaculate. I'd bust out the Armoral wipes and always removed trash promptly. However, since having two messy children in the car, things have gone to pot. Once in a while there will be a (an?) horrific odor and I will have to go hunting for the errant sippy cup filled with chunky milk that got wedged under a seat. The backseat area is ankle-deep with books, crayons, coloring books, and Happy Meal toys. Since they've basically trashed the place, I seem to have given up as well, because my coffee holders are grimy, my dashboard is dusty, and there is a Danny-sized hand print on the inside passenger-side windshield that has been there for literally 5 months now. It's disgraceful. I am ashamed of myself.

3. I start writing novels and then lose interest and/or decide they suck, and never finish them. I got to 170 pages on my last attempt. 170 farking pages, people! Oh, and I never let anyone read them, so don't even ask.

4. Phone etiquette. I'm terrible about returning phone calls, and I almost always screen my calls. Especially lately; if you've reached me by phone in the last month, feel special, because you are. Most folks are going straight to voicemail, baby!

5. Keeping in touch. Unless people are on Facebook or email me, I tend to fall out of touch. This is largely because of my phone aversion, but also because I hate writing letters and sending cards. I can usually motivate to send a b-day card to family members, but honestly, not always. I totally suck at keeping up with stuff like that. Thank-you notes? Yeah, don't expect those right away, either.

And there you have it. Certainly, there are many more, but that's it for now, so I'll leave you with this:



Why? Just because, that's why.

Buh-bye now!