Ick. Lunch was not so bueno

I don't know what possessed me just now.

I went to Stop & Shop and got a perfectly lovely garden salad along with a cup of piping hot chili. Came back to the office, and then decided, "Hey, this is kind of like a taco salad. You know, like the ones you get at Wendy's."

So I dumped the chili on the salad.

It was not like the ones you get at Wendy's.

First off, it looked like someone had literally taken a steaming dump on my salad, causing everyone who wandered by my desk to stop and exclaim, "Ew! What is that?"

Secondly, the lettuce instantly became mushy and soggy, which leads me to believe that Wendy's uses some kind of freakish lab-generated space lettuce.

Third, it didn't taste very good. Too salty. Which made me kick myself for not actually tasting said chili before sullying my innocent pile o' greens.

I'm chalking this one up to a failed experiment. Learn from my mistake - no DIY taco salads!

Got 33 seconds?

I don't know why this cracks me up so very much.... It just *does*.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Oh-we-oh - We look just like Buddy Holly....

Woohooo! On Tuesday night (why a Tuesday? What are we, college kids?!), Mala and I went down to beautiful Lowell, MA to see one of my favorite bands, Weezer. We had a great time, and they put on a phenomenal show for us! This was the first night of their first tour in three years, but if they were rusty, we sure didn't notice!

We started off by checking into the Doubletree, home of the warm chocolate cookie upon check-in. After making friends with the maintenance guys (shout out to Rafael, my new best bud!) because our TV didn't work despite many attempts to "Fonzie" it into submission, we inhaled a few glasses of wine and took off to start our night.
Here are our "before" pictures. Don't we look angelic? LOL!







Then we had a couple of drinks at the restaurant.

Mine was pretty nasty. It tasted like watermelon-scented dry erase markers. So, I only had two. :)

Mala wasn't so nuts about her glass of wine, either...

But, being the trooper that she is, she managed to choke it down.

After dinner, we wandered over to the arena and, after a quick cavity search, were admitted to the floor. The show started with Angels & Airwaves. They were ok.

Then, Weezer came out and blew the doors off! They were terrific! They played a lot of their older stuff and some from the new (red) album, and Mala and I were able to get right up front for the best view EVER! The crowd was surprisingly polite; there was no pushing or jostling for position, and we were able to stand quite comfortably and see everything perfectly. Hence, I took a lot of pictures. Because, you know, it's what I do. :)







For the first encore, they did something really cool. Apparently they had run a radio contest for the chance for young musicians to perform on stage with them. They brought out about 30 kids with their various musical instruments (including an overly-eager New Hampshirite who played the didgeridoo!) and played a couple of tunes, including Beverly Hills. It sounded terrible... but was super fun to watch!

Then they did a real encore after they ditched the amateurs.

A good time was had by all!


Oh, one more thing. A little tip for ya. Never try to turn off the hotel TV in the dark when you're more than half asleep. Just don't. There's a good chance you'll purchase a $14 movie (possibly even a porno) while fumbling with the unfamiliar remote buttons because you are too tired to turn on the light after you fall asleep. Yeah, that would suck. Not that I'd know firsthand, or anything.

Finally!

The return of good television is HERE! It's about bleeping time, right?!

I know I tend to reply just a little too much upon the good people who make TV shows to fulfill the bulk of my entertainment needs. I know this. I even get antsy when summer rolls around and I know the long programming drought is coming.... Season finales make me very sad. Which, in itself, is a little sad.

At any rate, tonight, Heroes returns!


Last season was both terribly disappointing and terribly short, thanks to that craptastic writer's strike that we're all trying hard to pretend never happened. Ok, well, I'm trying to pretend it didn't happen, anyway. :) Let's all keep our little fingers crossed that the Heroes scribes took their time off to rethink the whole dang show, and make it good again, mmmkay?

So, tonight's new programming is making me giddy, and Wednesdays are more interesting these days because of Project Runway and America's Next Pathological Model... but the really exciting night is Thursday, when my beloved Office returns!

*sigh* Happy Bev. Such a happy Bev. Can't wait for new 30 Rocks, either! I'm also looking forward to the shows I enjoy on a lesser level, like Grey's Anatomy, Dirty Sexy Money, Lipstick Jungle, How I Met Your Mother, Old Christine, and so forth, but those are DVR and watch whenever kind of shows, not watch now, LIVE! shows. Oooh and Dexter returns next Sunday....

Ok, I'll stop now. I really need to get out more. Or read, or something. Yeesh.

From the Vault

This is a new thing I'm going to try out. As I was cleaning out my drawers (not that kind of drawers... pervs), I came across lots of pictures from my misspent youth. I think I'll open the vault once in a while and give you all a little peek at Bev, The Early Years(TM). :)

In that vein... have I ever shown you...

My official White House photograph of me (and a bunch of other people) with then-Vice President Al Gore?



Yes, it really is him, even though he does resemble a cardboard cut-out. I'm the pale human-like shape with the purple top and uneven bangs on his right. If you click on the pic for the full-sized version, you can read my "cook's tour" comments, in yellow. To sum up, one guy made it to broadcast news, one girl is my best friend to this day AND a loyal Outofbevshead reader (hi Mala!), and the creepy dude on the far right does, indeed, speak fluent Cling-on. Looks do not deceive you there.

Anywho... this pic was taken when I worked in TV news when Al was running for president back in 2000. I was going through some health issues and had actually had pretty major surgery only one week before this big event. Not that I'm trying to explain my deathly pallor, or anything vain like that. Noooooo. That would be silly. But anyway.

This is probably, sadly, one of the largest bullet points on my television resume, as I got to technical direct the show. Pretty big stuff for a 24-year old. :)

So there you have it - your first glimpse into the vault. You like? You like.

My baby is ONE!

Today we celebrated LS's first birthday. I can't believe it has been a year already! Time has definitely flown by. We could not be happier to have LS in our lives; he is a delight in every way. We love him so much! To mark this momentus birthday, LS took his first steps 1 year almost to the minute from the time when I went into labor with him last September 13th, at 7:30 PM. He was born 12 hours later at 7:30 AM, weighing 8 lbs, 2 oz, 21" long.
His first steps:




With big bro, BS, then (left) and now (right):


With Grammy, then & now:


With Grandma & Grandpa. Looking forward to seeing Dh's parents, Binker & Aba, in less than a month!



Sing with me, "Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu..."

"I'm not so sure about this cake stuff you speak of... is it any good?"

"Well, what do you know? It's pretty good."

"Oh my gosh - this is good! Gimme more, lady!"

"Um, Grandpa? This is fun and all... but I had a lot of cake earlier...."


What a year! BS proved to be a terrific big brother, and as always, my husband is amazing. I'm beyond grateful for this life we live.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the RNC

I don't care what your political views are, this is some funny stuff... FOR ME TO POOP ON!




Ahhh, Triumph. Is there anything he can't do?

Question: How many financial advisors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Zero, because they're all just tooooo busy.

(insert eye rolling here)

Yes, folks, it's true. I've asked two of them to do it because I can't reach it without having to stand on a padded chair with rolling wheels, which would surely result in me falling and cracking my head open on the toilet. So far, they've both said they would do it, and one of them even went in there and used the bathroom... in the dark.

Wow.

I'm a convert!

DH and I saw Hot Tuna tonight, and MAN, what a great show! I'm definitely converted. Turns out, these two dudes were the bass player and guitar player for the Jefferson Airplane way back when. They are incredibly talented, and I thoroughly enjoyed the show. I even had one of those rare epiphony moments when I realized what the "hype" was all about; the last time I had one of those moments was the only time I saw the Dead perform back at Highgate, VT, in 1995. Truly awesome! It was an all acoustic show, and I was blown away by their sheer talent!

The venue was incredible - small, BYOB, with a fantastic older crowd that made me think about DH and myself seeing a show like this in 20 years time, God willing.

Excellent music, excellent company... I can't think of a better way to spend an evening.



For more on Hot Tuna, visit http://www.hottuna.com/

Transformation complete

First came the kids, and with them, the ability to sing Wiggles songs and recite Good Night Moon verbatim. Then came the minivan. And today, my friends... I have officially transformed into a soccer mom.

Today was BS's first soccer practice, and he did great! DH and I had a blast watching him run around and dribble the ball with a dexterity that surprised us both.


He was glad to see several of his friends from school there, especially his buddy C.


Even Jim got in on the action at one point!


The group shot cracks me up - my little ham is the only one looking straight at the camera, saying "cheese!" He's right in the middle of things, as always. He is completely gleeful in this picture, which does my heart good.


LS was rivetted the entire time, too! He loved watching all of the action, and it won't be long before we'll be trying to keep him from joining in on the fun, I'm sure!

On another note, you can tell BS's my kid because he was one of the only kids who got all red and sweaty while running around the field. With my pale skin, I was always the reddest kid in gym class, and what can I say? I'm a sweater. Not one of my more feminine assets, to be sure.

In his defense, it is disgustingly humid today. DH even had to break out one of the air conditioners, which had already been put away for the Fall. Let's hope we get this rain they're predicting so the humidity will break soon!

Anyway... being a soccer mom is pretty cool so far. Although, as Dr. Evil once said, "I'm still cool. I'm still hip. Ducka-ducka-ducka-ducka...ayyy-up!" My inner party girl still lives on, I promise.

Turns out, Kermit was wrong

It is easy being green!










I'm embarrassed to admit that I just bought the green fabric grocery bags yesterday. As someone who does care about the environment, I was feeling tremendous guilt each week as I carted home tons of plastic grocery bags! I mean, yes, reuse them, but it still felt wasteful.

Finally Stop & Shop started selling them for $.99 each, so I loaded up and they really are awesome. They hold a surprising amount of groceries, and they're easier to carry than regular bags. Plus, good for the earth, so win, win, win!

Now I just have to figure out what Jim is going to use to collect the dog's, errrm, leavings, from the yard.

Of course, I'm not patting myself on the back too much. I'm still driving a big ol' minivan and loving every plush, roomy minute of it, after all! But I'm trying, doing my small part, and all that good tree-hugging stuff. Feels good.

One of those mornings

The bad:

LS was up at 5:30 AM, like clockwork

I had to manually remove BS from bed, as in, grasp him by the ankles and haul him out while he whined and moaned and claimed to be sick. Good times.

LS has a runny nose, so my shirt is speckled with snail trails. I also have rapidly-browning banana bits on my pant leg. I feel really put-together, let me tell ya.

The good:

BS did not wet the bed (it's a miracle!)

I was on time to work (another miracle!)

Both kids arrived at school relatively clean and good spirits

It's FRIDAY! WOOHOO!

***

So, my dearest readers, any big plans for the weekend? Not much here - BS starts soccer tomorrow morning, then we might go check out this annual seafood festival we say we're going to go to every year, and then don't. Of course, this year may be no exception to that rule since it's supposed to rain cats & dogs all weekend.

On Sunday DH and I have an actual date. I know - imagine that! With a babysitter and everything! We're going to see a favorite band of his called Hot Tuna. I have nothing more to add to that topic because frankly, I'm not even sure what they sound like. I'm much more excited to see Weezer with my good buddy Malomatic in 2 weeks!

Anyway. That's all I can think of to report at the moment! I'm feeling a bit chatty today, and as you know, I don't exactly have a giant circle of office pals with whom to gossip... so this may not be my only post du jour. Time will tell - stay tuned!

All of a sudden, getting old sucks

Until today, I was totally cool with getting older. So I'm a few (ahem) pounds heavier than before, have to get my hair colored regularly to hide the little gray garden that sprouts up on my part, and have fine lines and sun damage and all that good stuff starting on my face. My thirties have been pretty cool so far, and heck - I've already survived one bout of cancer, so life is pretty rockin', right?

Sort of. It's still good to be Bev, but now Bev has to get $1,690 worth of dental work done. Yes, that is the amount due AFTER my good-for-nothing insurance company kicks in their measely $460 for the crown and several fillings my new dentist just told me I needed, as illustrated by his fancy-dancy little camera. Apparently, even though I have slacked off and not used my benefits for two years (blush), I have only $460 remaining in benefits until next July, when it renews. What the--? How does that happen?

So now, in addition to the painful and icky 5 hours of office visits I must endure, I must also feel pain in my wallet.

That's it! Pull them all and give me a mouthful of Gary Busey chompers!


The good news is that I've been informed that my hygiene is terrific, and I had very little plaque. Just holes in my teeth and a mouthful of metal that needs replacing. Fan-freakin-tastic!

Oh well. At least my boobs aren't getting saggy or... Oh, wait. Crap!