Bird babies, narcissism, and unsexy sex tapes

Heh heh, hello.

Before I get to whatever semi-salient point I may make on this post, I'd like to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement about the most excellent and triumphant return of my voice. You're all dolls and I want to hug you and love you and call you George for being so nice & supportive. *MUAH*

And now for something completely different.

BIRD BABIES

Just in case anyone was wondering about those purty little blue eggs in my bush (yeah, I said that) - they've hatched!

Say it with me, "Awwwwwwwwwwww!" Four little baby Robins emerged from the shells last week. D's only comment was, "They're see-through!"

NARCISSISM 101

A lot of you have asked me to do a video log (vlog) now that my voice has started to heal, and I think I just might oblige.

However, since I am La Bev, I'ma do it my way, bitches! That means it might take a while because I'm gonna get all creative and shit, so don't hold your breath. I will do it and I'm going to try to convince my partner in crime, the lovely and talented Mala, to be my costar. Stay tuned!

The most unsexy sex tape, possibly EVER

Last night I had a chance to watch a few minutes of the infamous Kendra Wilkinson sex tape (don't judge), and holy macaroni - it sucks! I'd heard it was pretty gnarly, and I'd heard right. In fact, last week I read a funny list of the 10 unsexiest things about Kendra's sex tape (link NSFW), and it was pretty much right on the money.

Number 1 on their list?

The guy.

Really, Kendra? Really? THIS is the guy you chose to tape yourself banging? This pasty, goofy guy with all his... ahem... short-comings? Egads, woman, you've redefined "doing the nasty."

Also, their bedroom is skeevy, there's some sort of hand-sanitizer dispenser on the wall, pics of someone's kids overseeing all the action, and at one point she pulls out a vibrator contraption that looks like electro-shock therapy for your lady bits.

NOT HOT.

All that's missing is a neon beer sign over the water bed and maybe a crack pipe on the bedside table. Classy!

Ok, that's all I've got for today. Latah, mashed potatah!

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

Oh, what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeeeling everything's going my way!

Yes, I'm singing to you. You heard me right. Not only am I cheerful on the first day back at work after a delightful, relaxing long weekend, but I'm so cheerful that I'm actually singing.

Wanna know why?



Can you guess?



Maybe because something wonderful is happening...



I'm not sure why, but I'm not questioning it...



MY VOICE IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

YUP. Big news in Bev-town, my peeps! My voice is coming back after almost 5 months of me sounding like Minnie Mouse with a horrible case of laryngitis. I can't tell you how happy I am to have some strength back to my voice and to know that something will come out when I try to speak. It's still not perfect, but it's noticeably better. I can speak up and be heard across the room. I can hold a conversation without running out of air. I can talk to people I haven't met before and NOT have them ask me if I'm sick.

It's... well, it's pretty fucking fantastic.



It's still not perfect, but it's better, and I'll take it. I'm due to see the ENT tomorrow, but I don't need the scope to know that ol' Lefty the Dysfunctional Vocal Cord is back in business. I hope he enjoyed his hiatus, the lazy little prick. I don't plan to let him take another break anytime soon; in fact, before you know it I'll expect him to belt out some karaoke!

ANYWHO. Did everyone have a good 3-day weekend? I certainly did. We spent time with friends on Saturday and Sunday and then took a family chill day yesterday. All I did was lie on my chaise lounge and read, eat, drink a few cold beverages, then read some more. Even my children were so pooped from their busy weekend that they chilled out for a change. BLISS.

How about you? Do anything fun & exciting?

Who wants to hear me do some scales? WOOT!