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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Scrambled butt cuts

Scrambles the Cat is my soul pussy.


HA! I love it. He's not sad, he's just chillaxin'. Kickin' it, old skool.

Anywho. How is everyone on this fine morning? I'm doing fine and dandy, thanks for asking. My work peeps came through with a huge bouquet of flowers this morning, which brings my tally up to 6 so far, and means that my home now smells amazing but also looks like a funeral parlor. It's cool, I appreciate them all! I wish I wasn't going out of town for 3, almost 4 days, because coming home to a house full of decaying plant matter is not so bueno, but oh well.

Speaking of that, I think I've got everything done that needs doing before leaving on a jet plane tomorrow eve. I tried on my new dress last night and got two thumbs up from both The Jim and my 6 yr. old son, but that might've just been because they wanted to get back to their raging Wii bowling game. Speaking of that, the big kid's haircut isn't as bad as I first thought it was. It's a little too crew-cut-ish, but he still looks cute. My youngest, however, is sporting a bowl cut entirely too reminiscent of Peter Tork from The Monkees. I don't mind, though. He can rock the bowl cut! It's still better than a butt cut.

By the way -- when I just did a Google image search for "butt cut," guess what the first image was?! Yes, it's our very own Cary as a wee lad. HAHAHA!!!!!! WTF? How fraking funny is THAT?

Oh, and speaking of bad hair. On the phone with my sister last night we got to talking about my From the Vault posts, and how I have my next one all lined up already. We started reminiscing about some of the horrible Sears portraits of the two of us from our childhoods, and she has declared several of those verboten, which bums me out because they're HI-larious. In one, we're both sporting the classic 80's short hair 'do with permed tops, AKA the show poodle 'do. Oh, and ruffled shirts. In another pic, she is wearing a string tie, and has long, straight center-parted hippy hair; I have overly-short, uneven bangs and a cold sore. HAWT. But, I can't show them to you, because I promised not to... so you'll have to use your imaginations. I know you can do it.

That's it for now. Enjoy your day, everyone!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Truthful Tuesday

AKA: It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.

I came back to work today, and am regretting that decision. My boss hasn't darkened the doorstep yet, but I'm dreading the moment he does. He'll be nice and all, but he's just so self-involved that it's bound to be one of these conversations:

Boss: "I'm so sorry about your dad. Are you ok?"
Me: "Thanks. I'm doing ok. Not great, but ok."
Boss: "When my wife's father died... blah blah blah, lots of redundant crap that's supposed to somehow make me feel sorry for his wife for her loss a YEAR ago."
Me: "Yes, that's very sad. I remember. How's she doing now?"
Boss: "She's alright. She still gets sad... more stupid annoying tripe about himself and their coping mechanisms from the death of an 86-yr-old man a YEAR ago."
Me: nodding sympathetically and making low sounds of consolation.
Boss: "So anyway, about those TPS reports...."

*SIGH*

So far the rest of the office is leaving me alone, thank goodness, but I'm sure that won't last. I'm just glad my crazy cat-lady coworker isn't in today, because all she will do is blab for five straight hours about every person she's ever known who has died, EVER. Because that is exactly how she rolls. Jerk Store! I might just snap and kill the bitch. It's been 6 years of listening to that harpy drone on and on and on, and this might just be the event that snaps my patience in two!

On a funny note, a friend of mine recently suggested that I get an air horn and give her a good blast whenever she starts up. HAHAHAHA! I think that's an excellent idea, but she is old, and I don't want to kill her, just shut her up. Still... I might consider it.

UPDATE: While I was writing this, boss came in, and the conversation went exactly as I had predicted. HA! I rule! Also, I was just thinking that I was a teeny bit peeved that no one from the office bothered to send me a card or some damn flowers, and Boss tells me that he and his wife are having a tree planted in Israel for me. Um, thanks. That's very... thoughtful, I guess. Whatever, dude.

Ok, more truths.... Things that have bummed me out this week:
Ads for Father's Day
My father's empty chair at the lunch table
Mala's woes... I will be busting some skulls if need be. Trust.
Being forced to shop yesterday for clothes to wear to this big family wedding we have this week.

Oh yeah, that's another thing. Jim's brother is getting hitched on Saturday. I LOVE this BIL, love him silly, and I love his bride-to-be (BTB). But, do I feel like schlepping my entire family onto a plane to Philly on Thursday, getting us all looking halfway decent, and putting on a smiley face for the entire group of in-laws and BTB's family all weekend long? HELL to the muthafuckin' NO.

Things that have made me happy this week:
My friends are awesome
Online chats
Plans for future fun
Getting mobile web for my phone (it's the little things)

One last bit of truth for now: My boss is sitting at crazy coworker's desk today for no good reason. He does this now and then, and it pisses me OFF. I mean, the man's got a perfectly good office, yet he sits 4 feet away from me? He's not even working, he's looking at CNN and ESPN. Goddamn it!

I VANT TO BE ALONE!

Ok, anyway. That's what's new today. Aren't you glad you checked my blog? Ha ha... sigh. Ha.